Habit 4 of The 7 Habits of Effective People is Think Win-Win. It’s one of my favourite habits of all 7. Sean Covey, in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, has a cartoon with two teens giving each other a high five. And, his subtitle is”Life is an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet. We can all have it all if we’re willing to think of a win-win solution.
George Eliot wrote, “What do we live for, if it’s not to make life less difficult for each other.” If we think Win-Win, we can all have at least something we need. In my training for Control Theory, I teach a model called “Collapse Conflict.” If we all find out what needs will be met for our wants, we can create a solution to meet those needs that will benefit all our needs.
You see, we all strive to meet our love and belongings, our freedom, our fun, our power and our survival needs. If we feel unhappy, it means one or more of those needs are not being met. Often we perceive that other people are preventing us from getting our needs met. However, research shows that is not the case. We are just all working hard to selfishly get our needs met in order to be happy.
Covey points out that lots of people think that for them to be happy, someone else has to lose, the “Win-Lose” mentality. Others think they have to be happy they have to lose, the Lose-Win mentality or being a doormat is the only chance for happiness. That generally ends up with nobody winning, a Lose-Lose situation. If, instead, you think of how we all can win, all get our needs met, possibly in a new way, then it’s a possibility for all to Win, a Win-Win situation.
The next time you have a situation where it feels like there’s a conflict, think about creating a new situation where all can be happy! Think win-win! I challenge you to check out my lessons on The 7 Habits on my website. They’re great for learning how to have an all you can eat buffet, or a win-win lifestyle.