How Emotional Intelligence Appears In The Real World

Daniel Goldman posted an article on LinkedIn about emotional intelligence and what it looks like as manifested in everyday life. Here’s what he found:
1. You think about feelings. The awareness begins with reflection. You ask questions like:
– What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses?
– How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision making?
– What’s going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?
2. You pause. Pausing helps you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.
3. You strive to control your thoughts. By striving to control your thoughts, you resist becoming a slave to your emotions, allowing yourself to live in a way that’s in harmony with your goals and values.
4. You benefit from criticism. Nobody enjoys negative feedback. But, when you receive negative feedback, you keep your emotions in check and ask yourself: How can this make me better?
5. You show authenticity. It means saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and sticking up for your values and principles above all else.
6. You demonstrate empathy. Empathy doesn’t mean agreeing with another person’s point of view.Rather, it’s about striving to understand, which allows you to build deeper, more connected relationships.
7. You praise others. All humans crave acknowledgement and appreciation. Focus on the good in others. Then, by sharing specifically what you appreciate, you inspire them to be the best version of themselves.
8. You give helpful feedback. Negative feedback has great potential to hurt the feelings of others. Realizing this, you reframe criticism as constructive feedback, So the recipient sees it as helpful instead of harmful.
9. You apologize. Saying sorry demonstrates humility, a quality that will naturally draw others to you. Emotional intelligence means valuing your relationship more than your ego.
10. You forgive and forget. When you forgive and forget, you prevent others from holding your emotions hostage – allowing you to move forward.
11. You keep your commitments. When you make a habit of keeping your word – in things big and small – you develop a strong reputation for reliability and trustworthiness.
12. You help others. Most people care about what you can do for others. Actions of help, listening or getting down in the trenches and working alongside them, build trust and inspire others to follow your lead when it counts.
13. You protect yourself from emotional sabotage. You realize that emotional intelligence also has a dark side – such as when individuals attempt to manipulate others’ emotions to promote a personal agenda or for some other selfish cause. And that’s why you continue to sharpen your own emotional intelligence – to protect yourself when they do.

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