The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. … A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.               […]

Listen & Observe

Practice your listening and observation skills by the following baby steps suggested by Sean Covey at the end of Habit 5: See how long you can keep eye contact with someone while they are talking to you. Go to the mall, find a seat, and watch people communicate with each other. Observe what their body […]


Practice is really the art of practicing until it feels more normal, like learning to ride a bike or learning the alphabet through focused repetition. You are creating the new self-image that you want.      By John Asaraf Activity: Think of something you really want but don’t think you can get. Do the following […]

Then Seek To Be Understood

The second half of Habit 5, Then Seek To Be Understood, is as important as the first half but requires something different from us. Seeking first to be understood requires consideration, but seeking to be understood requires courage. Practicing only the first half, Seek First to Understand, is weak. It’s Lose-Win. It’s the doormat syndrome. […]

Genuine Listening

To be a good genuine listener you must do the following: First, listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. (Note yesterday’s post on Habit 5) Second,  stand in their shoes. To become a genuine listener, you need to take off your shoes and stand in another’s. In the words of Robert Byrne, “Until you walk […]