Shoulder to Shoulder

Do you know the difference between toe to toe and shoulder to shoulder?  Have you ever found yourself standing toe to toe with a child?  How about your spouse?  How about a colleague?  How do you feel when this is happening?  Is it a good feeling?  Is your stomach tense or calm?  Are you flushed?  Do you feel like fighting?  Is this productive? …..The moment you stand shoulder to shoulder with someone you are both looking in the same direction.  If you are looking in the same direction you could be looking at the same thing.  If you are looking at goals you have created together it is a good thing, and you can help each other.  If you help each other you are no longer toe to toe. Take a deep breath.  Your shoulders go down and your stomach relaxes. …Ask yourself, “Is what I am doing getting me what I want?  What is it we both want for our relationship, for the task we have to do together?  Do we want to be shoulder to shoulder…How can we both get what we need?” Talk about what you need.  Ask what he or she needs.  Gossen, Diane, “It’s All About We” page 71

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